When the grandkids came round, I used to feel torn. I wanted them to feel close to Mum, to enjoy their visit and make memories, but I also didn’t want her to feel overwhelmed or confused. What I learned over time was that crafting with Mum and grandkids became one of the gentlest ways to bring everyone together.
Dementia changes the way someone connects. Mum loves her grandkids but there were times Mum could be engaged and chatty, and other times she seemed overwhelmed by all the noise & activity.
What I learned was that crafts helped. Not fancy or complicated ones. Just small, manageable things that gave them a shared focus. Something they could do with their hands while they sat together. Something quiet that didn’t demand too much, but offered enough to keep them engaged and enjoying an activity together, especially where mum could lead, or show the grandkids how to do things.
Not every idea landed. Some days were better than others. But when it worked – even for five or ten minutes – it was such a great thing to watch.
Start With One Colour
One of the easiest crafts we tried was building a colour tray. I picked a colour, red was mum’s favourite colour. I laid out anything I could find in that shade: paper, ribbon, scraps of felt, buttons, elastic bands, paper clips, and we always had a bag of sweets to pull colours from! You can even involve the children on a treasure hunt in finding anything of that colour around that house that could be used and added to the tray.
Then I’d lay the tray out in front of mum and the grandkids and they’d glue them onto a card and make different collages, adding doodles and colouring with pens and pencils.
Mum loved it, she enjoyed doing things with them, and if she felt tired we could just move things to the floor for the kids to keep playing while mum rested. It was much easier for mum as it was a calm activity for them both.
Some days we tried cool colours like blue or green or yellow for calming and oranges when I wanted to lift the mood a little. It wasn’t scientific, but it helped create a soft focus for the day. The colour helped set the tone, and everyone could get involved without needing much instruction.
Pressing Flowers Together
During spring and summer, we’d go outside and pick small flowers – daisies, lavender, whatever we could find. The kids loved collecting them and pressing them in books with kitchen rolls or I’d have some pressed already that I did with mum in preparation for when the kids came round. The joy was in opening the book a week later and finding something delicate and flat where a living flower had been.
We glued them onto folded cards to make bookmarks or cards for upcoming birthdays or celebrations like Mother’s day, Eid etc. I helped Mum place the flowers, while the children added drawings and stickers. No one was directing it – we were just making something together.
Some days we’d glue the flowers into little folded cards and give them to family members, with simple handwritten messages saying I love you etc.
It was always nice when the kids made a card with mum, took it away and then wrote a sweet message and presented it back to mum, we still have some of them framed at home.
Make “Shape Stories” With Foam Stickers
I kept a tub of soft foam stickers, animals, stars, abstract shapes, in mum’s art and crafts tower storage for visits. Each person got a piece of card, and we peeled and stuck them down however we liked. I’d sometimes start with a sentence like, “This looks like a forest,” and let the kids build a story from there.
Mum would sometimes point to a sticker and name it, or just press it down where she liked the colour. It was simple and quiet and didn’t need much explaining, just space to create and time to be together.
The beauty of this activity was in how flexible it was. We could turn it into a story, a pattern, or just a lovely colourful mess, whatever worked in the moment.
Gentle Bead Threading With Fabric Loops
Standard beads were too fiddly, so we used large wooden ones with big holes, and thick felt loops instead of string. Sometimes we threaded them onto pipe cleaners or shoelaces. The texture made it easy to grip, and the motion of threading felt repetitive in a comforting way.
The kids liked threading a pattern. Mum didn’t always follow along, but she liked holding the shapes and watching what they did. Sometimes she’d copy their movements, and sometimes we made original prayer beads that comforted mum. She enjoyed moving the beads back and forth, and the grandkids had something novel to take home with them at the end of their visit.
Just a note to avoid really small beads to avoid any potential choking hazards.
Decorating Picture Frames Together
We kept a stash of plain wooden frames. We’d bring out stickers, glue dots, washi tape, soft fabric, and buttons. Sometimes we printed a photo of the grandkids with Mum and decorated the frame to go around it.
Mum didn’t always join in fully, but she’d choose a colour or point to something she liked or she’d enjoy just looking at the photo. The grandkids loved knowing she’d helped. Some went home with the grandkids but other frames we put around the house, and they’re a lovely reminder of their time together
These little keepsakes didn’t take long to make, but they lasted longer than the visit.
When Challenges Arise
Not every craft went smoothly. Some days Mum wasn’t in the mood. Sometimes the kids were too loud, or one of them spilled something and got upset. I learned to step back. “Let’s leave it for now” became a phrase I used often.
What helped was having options. A few bits of paper, a small basket of sensory materials, something we could bring out without fanfare. If we needed to pivot to something quieter, we could. If the craft didn’t happen at all, that was okay too. The visit didn’t need saving – it just needed softening.
There were days that just having a warm drink, sitting down, and watching a cartoon or movie together was fine as well.
Keep the Familiar in Reach
Two things that helped us regularly weren’t traditional crafts at all – finger painting and water painting books. I kept them in a box in the living room, always ready to go.
Just a brush, a little water, and the calm of seeing something appear. Mum didn’t feel pressured, it was a familiar activity for her and the grandkids loved painting as well. And I got to see them sharing something I knew they both enjoyed.
We didn’t always finish the page, and no one minded.
Final Thoughts on Crafting with Mum and Grandkids
The crafts that worked weren’t about what we made – they were about the moments in between. The gluey fingers. The quiet pride. The simple act of sitting together and doing something side by side.
If you’re helping your children spend time with a loved one living with dementia, don’t overthink it. Set the table. Offer one thing. Let it happen or let it go. Sometimes a sticker or a button is all it takes.
Five minutes of calm connection can mean more than a day of activities. And that’s the bit the children will remember, not what they made, but who they made it with.
