I want to talk about a recent experience of carer’s anxiety and stress, specifically my recent experience. I think it’s important to recognise when anxiety strikes and how it presents itself, because at the time I didn’t see it for what it was, a carer’s anxiety attack.
I thought I was doing okay. I felt like I was managing my stress and anxiety. But my world was getting smaller, caring for my mum with Alzheimer’s was all too consuming and I hadn’t been thinking of myself or looking for opportunities for self care. Family and friends were living their own lives and that meant my world became just about mum and me.
The Build-Up of Anxiety
One night, the stress and anxiety I’d been bottling up finally bubbled to the surface. I just needed to vent, so reached out on social media. The responses I received were filled with kindness and support, which was comforting. But looking back, I realize things had been deteriorating for a while. Mum’s health was worsening, and yet, I still believed I had it handled—until that night when my anxiety spiraled out of control.
Constant Worry
I began obsessing over potential fire hazards. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d get mum, who can no longer stand, downstairs and out in the event of a fire. My mind went in circles—what if a fire started in the kitchen, right below her bedroom? Smoke inhalation could kill her before the fire even reached upstairs.
I started worrying about household appliances. I have too many things in the kitchen. Appliances were being recalled for fire safety like washing machines, freezers – what if one of ours sparked?
It’s crazy, but once it gets into your head it’s so hard to get out. Was everything downstairs unplugged? I must’ve gone down about 20+ times, checking and rechecking. Asking myself whether there were any potential risks for fire? My mind was going in circles. I tried to calm myself but then my anxiety sparked again.
Spiralling Thoughts
What about the living room, the living room hoist has a battery, and it has to stay in the charger. Batteries can explode, shit what should I do, my mind just kept going round in circles at the possible dangers. What about the fire alarms, were they working? I wasn’t sure as I hadn’t checked them recently, and I couldn’t check that night and on it went……..
Feeling Overwhelmed
Every time I thought I’d calmed down, a new worry would pop up. My chest felt heavy, and I just couldn’t stop checking things. It was my first experience with OCD-like behaviours caused by anxiety, and it was terrifying. My anxiety kept escalating, and I knew I wasn’t going to sleep that night. I lost count of the number times that I got out of bed to check.
A Turning Point
Finally, I shared my frustrations in the middle of the night on social media. It was lovely to receive such a positive response, kind words, not only that night but for many days after. Just putting my thoughts into words helped take the edge off. I realized how out of control I’d been, and I knew I needed to do something to calm myself down. That’s when I turned to mindfulness.
Finding Relief Through Mindfulness
For me, mindfulness is about bringing my focus back to the present moment. That night, I focused on my breathing. It wasn’t easy, but I kept reminding myself to just breathe.
Then, I mentally focused on different parts of my body to bring myself back to reality. It worked—eventually, I relaxed enough to fall asleep.
I’m not going to preach about mindfulness; I find it tough to do consistently. But there are resources out there, like apps (Headspace, The Mindfulness App) or courses (FutureLearn).
Managing Anxiety Daily
Since then I’m learning to manage my anxiety myself. I spend time in the garden, exercise, and try hobbies like writing, cooking, and knitting—anything to reduce stress.
I’ve even added a weekly well-being check to my routine, where I reflect on how I’m feeling. It might sound crazy, but it helps me spot the warning signs of an anxiety attack before it happens.
Mind, the mental health charity have a good guide on how to manage stress and anxietyincluding a video called 8 relaxation tips for your mental health.
How Are You Really?
We need to learn to answer that question truthfully not shrug it off. I know that the support and advice I received after that anxiety attack helped me realize that I wasn’t alone feeling this way.
I know every carer has their own stories on dealing with anxiety and stress. I find that it’s comforting hearing stories from fellow carers, who’ve been through and can share how they worked through it. I hoping that this blog will do the same, practice mindfulness, actively look for ways to manage anxiety and stress, talk to family and friends. Most importantly have a plan for when it strikes, what steps you can take to calm your mind.
Whatever it takes to reduce your stress and anxiety.
I know that I can’t eliminate stress or anxiety at the moment because let’s face it caring can be stressful. I just have to learn how to manage it so it doesn’t overwhelm me again. Hope you do the same!
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