Why Does My Mum With Alzheimer’s Keep Repeating Herself? 

This is a question that most caregivers want the answer to because it can be so distressing both to you and your loved one. Why does my mum with Alzheimer’s keep repeating herself? Repetitive questions can be a common symptom for those living with dementia, particularly with certain types like Alzheimer’s disease.  Learning to cope with the same question being asked again and again can be frustrating and exhausting for your loved ones and dementia caregivers. 

So why does my mum with Alzheimer’s keep repeating herself? It can be caused by memory loss, confusion, insecurity, a need for reassurance, damage to the brain effecting executive function, an emotional need, communication issues, physical discomfort, environmental changes, anxiety, fear, medication side effects, boredom, loneliness and more.   

It’s not always obvious why, so you need to dig a little deeper to ascertain the why, and sometimes we might not even get to the root of the problem, but we can try working through certain root causes that might be causing repetitive questions. Understanding the underlying reasons for this behaviour can help us find strategies to support our loved ones and help manage repetitive questions & reduce any distress they’re experiencing. 

I know I deal with it. I struggled with the why, I didn’t understand how to handle continuous repetitive questions because I didn’t understand what was causing it. Now, I have a much better understanding and that helps me to support mum better and stops me from screaming from frustration!  

So, in this article I’m sharing what I’ve learnt to help answer the question ‘Why Does My Mum with Alzheimer’s Keep Repeating Herself?’ 

Emotional Needs  

Repetitive questioning may stem from an underlying emotional need. Our loved ones may be repeating questions because they feel disorientated, confused or insecure unable to fully express something that is causing them to feel anxious or insecure. Ask yourself, what triggered the repetitive questions, if they’re feel insecure, why is that? Is it because by asking repeated questions they’re looking for reassurance from you.  

Do the questions start at the same time every day (Mum’s are always in the afternoon/evening slot), are they overtired or scared? We need to identify what the underlying emotional need is, and what our loved ones are trying to communicate to help them break or not start the loop of repetitive questions. 

Anxiety & Fear 

Your loved one with dementia could be experiencing fear or be anxious about the people around them, their surroundings or situation they are experiencing. It’s important to focus on the feelings rather than the question, think about what’s going on around them, what happened just before the repetitive questions started?  They may be fearful as they can’t remember where they are or something that they’ve just watched has triggered it or is it something like talking about going out to an appointment that’s causing this anxiety.   

Look beyond the question, here it’s the feeling that counts, as your loved one could be looking for reassurance, validation, or looking to retain a sense of control.  Touch, eye contact, reassuring them with words of your love, presence, comfort objects (like fidget blankets and your nearness can help). I know with Mum that she can feel soothed by my sitting right next to her, holding her hand, and it can break the repetitive loop. 

Be observant, see what triggers it, take a note, and look for patterns.  It could be sundowning issues where increased agitation occurs late afternoon and evening.   

Environmental factors  

Loud noises, crowded spaces, or unfamiliar surroundings can overwhelm individuals with dementia, leading to heightened agitation and frustration. Repetitive questioning may be due to their distress as they attempt to make sense of or cope with sensory overload of a busy environment.  

Our number one repeated question in our house, revolves around mum not recognising her own home.  This can be the same for many others living with dementia – the environment matters at home or out and about.   

Are there features in the house that can anchor your loved one and break them out of the repetitive loop? Is the environment too noisy or chaotic meaning your loved one is trying to tell you that they’re feeling overwhelmed? 

Physical discomfort 

Is your loved one having difficulty expressing that they are in some form of physical discomfort? Are they in some form of pain. I know in my mum’s case that she suffers from neuropathic pain.  

Asking questions, touching different areas with permission, noticing body language and non-verbal cues  e.g with dental pain can all help identify the source of these repetitive questions if related to physical discomfort. 

Is your loved one trying to tell you that they are hungry or thirsty, this can prompt repetitive questions.  How long ago was it since they last eat, are they craving something sweet or a favourite food, have they had enough to drink? 

Don’t forget to also consider toileting needs especially when out and about. Any form of physical discomfort can contribute to agitation and frustration, prompting your loved ones to seek relief through repetitive questioning. 

Routines 

Sudden changes in routine can trigger repetitive questions as your loved one tries to restore feelings of safety and security in their surroundings. Your loved ones may have familiar cues around them that help prompt or recall things and reduce repetitive questions.   

Routines can provide a sense of comfort, minimise confusion, and restore a sense of security.  Routines also reduce the number of decisions that need to be made, reducing confusion and overloading your loved one. So ask yourself – has their routines changed? 

Frustrations, Boredom and Loneliness!

Frustrations can arise with communication challenges or difficulties in digesting and communicating back information which can lead to increased agitation and repetitive questioning.  Frustrations can be triggered from struggling to express themselves, or articulate their thoughts or needs.   

Boredom, or a desire for social interaction can manifest through repetitive questioning. Lack of stimulation or engagement can lead to feelings of boredom and restlessness, triggering repetitive questions.  Is your loved one engaged? Are they stimulated throughout the day through their own activities, have they joined support groups, do they work or have hobbies they love, or any involvement in activities to alleviate boredom.

Do they have companionship? Friends and family that reach out and interact with them? Loneliness and boredom can be sources of distress, leading to repetitive questions. 

Medications Side Effects 

Medication can also be a factor, has there been a recent change in medication? Are there unknown interactions with medications and other health conditions or other meds that they take. It may be worth talking to your doctor, some medications can cause side effects like increased confusion or agitation, so if these seem to have increased around the time of a medication change then it’s worth consulting with your doctor to check that they are not the main cause contributing repetitive questions. 

Your Caregiver Response!

I know how hard it can be to stay calm, and not respond with an outburst of frustration, but the reality is that if you do it won’t help the situation one bit.  Your loved one would respond badly increasing agitation and causing more distress. 

If you’re not acknowleding that there are issues, unmet needs, physical discomfort etc then your dismissing what your loved one is trying to tell you, invalidating their feeling.  They may feel like they’re being dismissed for example if you stop responding or ignoring the repetitive questions in the hope that they’ll stop.

Responding angrily or raised voices, shouting etc will all increase the frustration or agitation that your loved one is feeling and isn’t a strategy to positively support them. So remember your own response could be contributing to repetitive questions. 

Memory Impairment  

The most obvious reason for repetitive questioning is memory impairment.  Let’s be clear, not all dementia types lead to memory loss. Mum has Alzheimer’s disease which is one of the types of dementia that does leads to memory loss.  One of the first areas damaged by Alzheimer’s is the hippocampus impacting memory.  The simple fact is that, as these areas becomes damaged, your loved one, like my mum simply cannot remember asking the question before or recall the answer you may have given a few minutes earlier. And that means you need empathy and understanding to deal with that, it’s not their fault. 

Dementia Progression 

Dementia is a progressive neurological condition that affects cognitive function, including memory, language, and reasoning. As the condition advances, individuals with dementia may experience difficulties in processing information.  This can cause difficulty in finding the right words, understanding complicated sentences or non-verbal cues.  All of which can lead to repetitive behaviours such as asking the same questions over and over again. 

Self-Soothing 

This a contentious reason, but if your loved one is repeatedly asking the same question and you exhausted all other root causes, then think of it as a self-soothing mechanism, may be the repetition is like a mantra and helps them feel secure. That’s one way I like to think about it to help mum and deal with my own frustrations, that it’s a coping mechanism for Mum. I could be wrong but if I’ve exhausted all other possibilities, then it is the dementia & mum’s coping mechanism for me! 

This is not an exhaustive list, but ideas and suggestions for you to try to understand the cause of repetitive questions to work out solutions that might help your loved one resolve whatever is distressing them enough and help you get to the bottom of ‘Why does My mum with Alzheimer’s keep repeating herself?’. 

Let me know if you found this helpful. Thanks