Turns out, being a carer isn’t just about doctor’s appointments and medication schedules like I once thought. Whatever type of carer, caregiver, or care partner you are, you quickly realise it’s so much more than that. No one prepares you for the emotional marathon of caring—or for the rights that could help lighten the load.
The Truth About Being a Carer
Here’s the thing about carers: we believe our job is to give. And give. And give some more. We’re the masters of self-sacrifice. For years, I believed my role was to give everything I had to be the best caregiver for mum. I thought asking for help was a sign of weakness.
There’s this idea that carers are just doing their duty—family members stepping up out of love or loyalty. And sure, love might be why we start. But love alone doesn’t pay the bills, stop burnout, we need support and we need that to be enshrined in our rights.
I get it. As a carer, you’re trained—by society, by culture, by that little voice in your head—to think that your role is to give. Asking for anything in return? That feels…wrong, doesn’t it? Selfish, even. I used to think the same thing.
But your care has value. You have value. YOU do have hard fought rights! And they aren’t rewards!
Here’s The Truth!
- You’re not a superhero, despite what everyone spouts out and you’re not supposed to be.
- Needing help doesn’t mean you’re failing.
- And yes, you do deserve support without it feeling like you’re begging for basic things!
Rights Aren’t Rewards
The rights we have as carers—financial support, respite care, flexible working—aren’t rewards for being good at caregiving. They’re lifelines designed to keep us afloat in a social care system that couldn’t function without us.
You don’t have to prove you’ve reached breaking point before you deserve respite care. You don’t need to burn through your savings before applying for financial help. You shouldn’t have to lose out career wise because you need to take time off to care for someone. These rights are basic and necessary – that should be available to all carers because they can help us survive. The problem is that there’s too little of them and not everyone is aware they exist!
Some of them are pitiful like the government offering scraps with meagre benefits like Carer’s Allowance which is full of strings and traps to catch us out. We get less than the minimum wage on Carer’s Allowance when in reality we’re doing the equivalent or more of two full time jobs. No wonder so many of us feel undervalued. We are undervalued.
But here’s something I want to say loud and clear: your rights aren’t rewards for being a “good carer.” They exist because people like you have fought for them. They’re stepping stones, hard-won by carers and campaigners who’ve been there, who are still fighting today for better, equitable rights that recognise the work we do.
Why Recognising Your Rights Matters?
I used to scoff at the idea of Carers Rights Day or other carer days as being useless as nothing really changed. But Rome wasn’t built in a day as they say, and the same can be said of carer’s rights. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but every step forward matters. If it wasn’t for carer champions, carer organisations, carer charities, local MP’s and people like you things wouldn’t change. Only last year, the Carer’s Leave Act became law in the UK, allowing carers to take one week’s unpaid leave, and all I saw was the negatives that it should be paid leave not unpaid. I had to be reminded by another carer (thanks Katy Styles!) that each step is progress to build on.
Recognising our rights isn’t just about helping ourselves—it’s about demanding a system that values us properly. By claiming those rights, claiming what we’re entitled to, we send a message that can be used to to push our agenda for more change and support, that:
- We are visible.
- We are valuable.
- And we are necessary.
The government thinks we’ll just keep going. Newsflash: We’re humans, not energiser bunnies.
This Carer’s Rights Day: Take a Step
So this Carer’s Rights Day, I want to challenge you to take one small step. Whether it’s finding out what support you’re entitled to, applying for Carer’s Allowance, or talking to carer’s organisations that can support you when you hit a brick wall!
- Educate Yourself: I started by learning about my rights through Carers UK and Carers Trust or your local carer’s organisation. Did you know you can get a carer’s assessment through your local council? Or that you can protect your state pension with Carer’s Credit? I didn’t, and it cost me years of lost pension contributions. Check out excellent resources like Mobilise, which has in-depth guides written by carers, and Action for Carers, which offers templates and advice that can be reused anywhere.
- Ask for Help (Even If It Feels Awkward): My first “ask” was tiny, now I push really hard, and it’s always a fight but one we can’t back down from, I managed to extend my respite care, it’s still not much but it’s not nothing. It felt uncomfortable at first, but it got easier.
- Challenge the Narrative: Don’t think you have to do this alone, don’t be pushed aside by bureaucracy, collaborate with your local carers organisation, other carers, because if you’re thinking “You don’t need this,” ask yourself “Would I want another carer to go without?” The answer, of course, is always no, so why are you different?!
We Can Make a Difference
This Carer’s Rights Day, don’t just shrug it off. Learn about your rights. Claim one thing you’ve been putting off, whether it’s financial support, time off, or simply asking for help. Because when we stand up for our rights, we’re not just helping ourselves. We’re building a better future for every carer out there.
Thanks for reading, what one thing do you think every carer should know? Share in the comments below, thanks.
