There are over a million UK caregivers and more than 11 million caregivers in the US providing unpaid care for loved ones living with dementia. We know that caring for someone with dementia can be tough, but it can also bring unexpected joys and personal growth. This article looks at 9 ways being a dementia caregiver can change your life for the better!
Discovering Joy in Dementia Caregiving
The narrative surrounding dementia caregiving often centres on stress and physical strains, which is of course true but it doesn’t paint the full picture. Yes, caregiving can be challenging, but it also brings unexpected joy and fulfilment. Caring for a loved one with dementia changes you as a person, shaping you in ways you never imagined. Having cared for my mother with Alzheimer’s for over a decade, I can confidently say that I’m not the same person I was before. The journey has taught me invaluable life lessons, making me a better person. It’s not about heroism; it’s about doing what you can, and extracting as much pleasure from the role as you can, in whatever form that takes—whether you’re a young carer, caring from afar, supporting someone in a care home, or tending to a significant person in your life. Here’s why being a dementia caregiver can change your life for the better.
1. Learning Patience
Caring for someone with dementia teaches you a level of patience you likely never thought possible. You learn to slow down, truly listen and focus on the person. I recall watching a documentary about Chris Roberts and his wife Jayne on the BBC, and I marvelled at Jayne’s calm demeanour. I initially doubted my ability to stay as composed as she was and I was right, it wasn’t always easy. But over time, you build your patience level and find a balance. You may not have endless patience every day, but you learn when to step back, when to hold your tongue, and how to respond to repeated questions with consistent enthusiasm & a smile! Caregiving teaches you patience as you adapt to the slower pace. It about giving someone time, and that’s something that I’ve learnt caring for mum.
“Caregiving taught me patience in a way nothing else could. It’s about learning to take things one moment at a time, and that’s a gift I carry with me every day.”
2. Empathy💜
Caring for someone with dementia gives you a unique window into their struggles. When you see what someone with dementia goes through, you become more understanding, it deepens your empathy—not just for them, but for others facing similar challenges. This deeper empathy helps you connect better with everyone in your life. You’ll get better at seeing things from other people’s points of view, and makes you a better person for it, with a bigger heart 💜.
“Caring for someone with dementia opens your heart. You start to see the world through their eyes, and that makes you more compassionate toward everyone you meet.”
3. Bringing Families Closer and Strengthening Relationships
Dementia care often draws families closer together (and in some cases pulls them apart!). But where’s there’s a shared responsibility, the time spent together, and the collective effort to care for a loved one can create lasting family ties. You begin to recognize the family members and friends you can truly rely on, and that makes those relationships stronger. Trust deepens as you navigate the challenges supporting each other, knowing that they have your back when you need them most. It can also repair fractured relationships, caring for my mum for example, has allowed me to let go of the past and build a much better relationship with her.
I’ve grown closer to my family,especially to my brothers who really have stepped up. We’ve had tough days, but we also had moments where we laughed with mum, shared memories, and became stronger together. I’m not the only caregiver in my family anymore, my brothers can step in at a moments notice now, for which I’m forever grateful.
4. Uncovering Hidden Strengths
Caregiving can surprise you by revealing inner strengths you didn’t know you had. Whether it’s managing tough situations or juggling numerous responsibilities, you’ll discover a reservoir of emotional and physical resilience within yourself. I’ve found that challenges that once seemed daunting now hardly faze me. There’s a quiet confidence that comes from knowing you have the strength to face most things, especially as you know how unpredictable dementia is and how it affects everyone differently.
“Caregiving revealed a strength I never knew I had. It’s one of those experiences that shows you what you’re truly capable of, even when you feel like you’re just getting by.”
5. Learning Life Skills
From managing medications to mastering schedules, dementia caregiving is a crash course in essential life skills. You develop strong problem-solving abilities, learning to think quickly and find practical solutions. Time management becomes second nature as you balance caregiving with other responsibilities, ensuring that both your loved one’s needs and your own are met. Additionally, caregiving teaches you how to advocate effectively—whether with healthcare professionals, social services, or within the family—ensuring that your loved one receives the best possible care.
The skills I developed as a caregiver, like advocating for mum’s needs, have made me a more confident person, and I don’t allow people to rush me just because they’re in a position of authority.
6. Cherishing Moments of Joy
Caregiving has its tough times, but it also has moments of joy. A smile from your loved one or a happy memory shared together can brighten your day. These moments make all the challenges worthwhile. Celebrating small wins can significantly alter your perspective on caregiving. Engaging in activities that bring joy, like listening to music or reminiscing, can reinforce the bond you share with your loved one. Finding humour in everyday situations makes a huge difference, having a real belly laugh, not taking things too seriously and realising that in the broad scheme of things it’s better to laugh than cry. Looking for the positives, laughing together, even during hard times, can make caregiving more positive and help you feel better. Lickety Glitz another dementia caregiver, celebrated her caregiving through humour in her blog. I learnt a lot from her, well worth read. A little laughter everyday can make caregiving easier, more positive and improve your own emotional health.
Despite the challenges, there are these beautiful, tender moments that make it all worth it—like mum’s giggle, when you wink at her, it makes her laugh every time.
7. Embracing a New Sense of Purpose
Knowing that you are making a significant difference in someone’s life can give your own life a deep sense of purpose. Caregiving is more than a duty; it’s an opportunity to find meaning in the everyday and to grow emotionally and spiritually. Caregiving has really brought home to me what’s really important in life, it’s changed my priorities and helped me grow both emotionally and spiritually. The emotional ups and downs of caregiving force to you look hard at your own life. I know my life is forever changed caring for mum, and I have new sense of purpose making sure mum gets the best care possible and that I use the knowledge I’ve gained to help others. It’s allowed me to explore new career paths in dementia, allowed me to write this blog, and helped me educate myself and others in the reality of dementia care.
“Being a dementia caregiver gave my life a sense of purpose I never expected. It’s not just about the daily tasks; it’s about knowing you’re making a real difference in your loved one’s life when they are at their most vulnerable.”
8. Living in the Present Moment
Dementia care teaches you to focus on the present moment. Instead of worrying about the past or future, you learn to appreciate what’s happening right now. You learn to live in the moment. I feel that there’s no point in looking forward after we got things in place for the end stage of dementia. Now, it’s focusing on mum, the moments we spend together, the shared connection we now have, the fact she calls everyone by my name whenever she wants anything. The moment mum opens her eyes every morning and smiles at me, this beautiful smile. I live for those moments, and if I’m not present in the moment, I miss them. That’s why it’s important to me to really appreciate this time, living in the present.
“Dementia caregiving taught me to appreciate the present. When mum is having a good or a bad day, I treasure our time together. It’s helped me focus more on the here and now, rather than worrying about what’s next.”
9. Connecting with a Supportive Community
One of the most unexpected benefits of dementia caregiving is the sense of community it can bring. Like most caregivers, you start to search for information about dementia and by doing so you meet others in the same boat. Whether through social media, support groups or online forums, the friendships I’ve made especially on social media carry me through the hardest parts of caregiving and they offer comfort, advice, friendship, understanding and often share from their experiences to help me. With this community I feel less stress, and I’m not as lonely as I once was because thanks to them, I’m not alone in this experience. There are millions of caregivers in the same place as us, and we offer each other encouragement and a shared understanding that lightens the load.
“The connections I made with other caregivers on X (formerly Twitter) have been a lifeline. Knowing that I’m not alone in this journey has been incredibly comforting and empowering”
Can Caregiving For A loved One With Dementia Bring Joy Despite The Challenges?
Yes, I can wholeheartly, say yes, because while dementia caregiving is challenging, it can also change your life in positive ways. By focusing on these bright spots, you might find that caregiving makes you a stronger, more caring person. I hope the 9 ways being a dementia caregiver can change your life for the better above have made you reflect on the joy that it can bring.
From cultivating patience and empathy to uncovering hidden strengths and building strong family ties, caregiving can transform your life in meaningful ways. So, the next time you feel overwhelmed, remember that caregiving might just be the best thing that ever happened to you—an unexpected gift that shapes you into a stronger, more compassionate, and more resilient person.
What about you, how has caregiving changed your life for the better? Comment below!
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